Endless Memories

Gatlinburg Trip- Day 1

                I didn’t nessecarily mind all the driving, but after we ate dinner at the oringinal KFC I felt like absolute shit.  I don’t mean just a little tummy ache but full blown anxiety shit.  This is one of the reasons I hate having a very bad anxiety problem.  I started to get a cold sweat while we were driving and then to make matters worse  I also got car sick.  Luckily I didn’t spew all over the car.  I am now sitting at the campsite for the night and still recovering from it.  It was possibly an anxiety attack.  Hey you know how people say to talk to someone who is hurt or something?  Well when my dad was talking to me it did make me forget about the need to pass out.  Talking helps. 

I do not feel good.  I want to get lost in a book.  I say I love to travel, and don’t get me wrong I do, but sometimes my anxiety and nervousness gets in the way of all the fun and experiences.  That’s also why I don’t mind being alone for a while because if I’m at home and everthings good, I’m perfectly content.  I might just move to the city and fuck it, I don’t know what I want to do.  This is what’s holding me back in life.  For example, hmmmmm, I don’t have a job, I kept talking about getting one and went and got an application at a few joints, but did I follow through?  No, I was(and am) scared.  Then why do I want a motorcycle?  I don’t make any sense. 

                Before I forget have to tell you the reader that when we went to the first KFC and I went potty it was extremley cold in there.  I looked down this old floor vent where the air was coming out of and I was like, hmmm I wonder what’s down there, looks spooky. 

                Whelp, I be going cos I still feel like shit and maybe if I do something else it might take my mind  off of wanting to FUCKING DIE!!

Have a spledid evening!

<3 Megg